Would You Still Love Me If You Knew
by Eventide
Summary: After being rescued from one of the X-men's most feared villains, Rogue hides a secret
1. Hidden Truths

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these character, Marvel owns them all. I don't even think I was alive when the business began, so it's rather impossible for me to own the X-Men.  
  
Author's Note: This came to me while I was watching Lifetime. Go figure huh? Well, just for your clarification all words in ** tend to be thoughts in this story. And you may think the rating is a little high right now, but this is just chapter one ^_^. Please review when you're done reading. (I live for reviews!)  
  
Summery: After being rescued from one of the X-men's most feared villains, Rogue hides a secret from her friends.  
  
Would You Still Love Me If You Knew?  
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"Thank God we got to you in time." Scott was hovering over her. He had been since they'd escaped. Hank was trying to remove the adamantium bracelet that repress her powers, and without much success. For that she blamed Scott. How could anyone work with Scott hovering like that? "Are you sure you're all right?"  
  
"Fer the millionth time, Scott! Ah'm FINE!"  
  
Every pair of eyes that occupied the Black Bird swung her way, and instantly she regretted loosing her cool. Scott stared at her (or at least she figured he was) in stunned silence. She took a deep breath and made her apology.  
  
"Sorry. Ah didn't mean ta snap at ya, sugah. But Ah'm fine. Really."  
  
He nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. It took all her will power not to shrug it off. "It's all right. You've got a right to be upset."  
  
*No kiddin'!* She managed to smile up at him. He returned it, then headed towards the cockpit. She looked at Hank, who was still bent over her wrist, poking the restricting metal device with odd looking tools.  
  
"So what's the verdict, Doc?"  
  
Beast looked up at her, adjusting his bifocals on his nose. She'd always liked seeing Hank with his glasses. For some reason they always made him seem like a giant blue teddy bear to her. The thought was comforting; the news was not.  
  
"Well, I can safely say that you're stuck with your unsightly jewelry for a little while longer. I don't have the equipment to remove it on the Black Bird, so when we get back, you'll have to spend a little more time in my company."  
  
*Oh great.* It wasn't what she wanted to hear, and it must have shown on her face. Hank patted her hand and smiled reassuringly.  
  
"Never fear, Rogue. I shall make it as quick and painless as possible." He rose, with what he must have believed to be debility and moved to a different part of the cabin. She knew the truth, however. He was giving someone else his chance to speak with her in private.  
  
Remy moved from his seat and knelt down at her feet. She wished he'd at least sit in a chair so he'd be on the same level with her. Not looking up at her like she was on some imagined pedestal. Just the idea of that made her feel even less than she already was.  
  
He held her hand. she wasn't wearing gloves. They'd been taken from her. But what did it matter? With that damn metal bracelet on she was nothing more than a normal, human girl; a weak, defenseless, human girl.  
  
"How you holdin' up, chere?" His eyes were gentle and his voice was soft. He was worried about her. Possibly more so than Scott. It made sense; Remy had more reason to hate Sinister than any of them could know. Kidnapping her was just another to add to the list. If only he knew it all though. Not only would it feed his hate for Sinister, but it would make him hate her too. She didn't think she could live with that.  
  
"Ah'm doin' alright. Fine'ly got rid o' Mother Hen." She motioned in the direction Scott had gone, her tone as light as she could make it. Her levity brought a smile to his face. The sight made her heart soar, then come crashing down. She had to remember, she didn't deserve him anymore.  
  
Landing saved her from any further conversation. She used the need to adjust the blanket that covered her as an excuse to remove her hand from his. Beneath the blanket, she wore what was nothing more than a long white T-shirt. It was the only courtesy Sinister had given her.  
  
Professor Xavier was there to greet her, Storm at his side. A few feet away, Logan stood casually against the doorway. It was Logan she wished to avoid. Because he'd know. She wouldn't be able to fool him. So while she exchanged pleasantries with the professor, she silently prayed for Logan's disappearance.  
  
When Hank came to usher her inside, she looked up to see the doorway vacant. *Thank ya Gawd.* She quietly allowed Beast to do what he needed to do. She just wanted the damn thing off. She wanted her excuse to keep people at arms length back. It didn't take long for Beast to declare her a free woman. She thanked him and retreated.  
  
*Shower. Shower, shower, shower.* The thought played through her mind like a mantra as she made her way up to her room. If she could shower, she'd be home free. Logan wouldn't be able to detect anything. She'd been lucky that she hadn't run into him befo-  
  
"Hey, darlin'. What's the rush?" He stood just inside her door, arms crossed. He'd been waiting for her. Now what was she going to do?  
  



	2. A Friend's Advice

Disclaimer: Didn't I put this on the last chapter? *sigh* Oh well. Marvel's, not mine.  
  
Author's Note: Okay, here's chapter 2. Despite one, somewhat discouraging review, I'm still writing. After all majority rules!  
  
Summery: Logan convinces Rogue that she needs to talk about her problem.  
  
Would You Still Love Me If You Knew?  
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He shut the door, to give them privacy. *Ta keep me trapped* She'd resigned her self to her fate. Logan knew, there was no avoiding it. She sat down on the edge of her little four-poster, her hands folded in her lap, eyes down cast. She didn't say anything.  
  
He stared at her for a moment, then crossed the room and sat beside her. He let out a sigh and plowed a hand through his hair. "Rogue, why are ya tryin' to hide this from everyone?"  
  
She licked her dry lips nervously. She didn't want to talk about this. "Ah- Ah guess cuz Ah'm scared." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.  
  
"We're all yer friends here, darlin'. What's to be scared of?" He just didn't get it, did he?  
  
".........Remy."  
  
He sighed heavily. He moved in front of her and crouched down, so to meet her eyes. "Rogue, I know this is hard on ya, but ya gotta trust me. If ya don't talk this out, it'll never get better. But I don't think that I'm the one ya should open up to. The Cajun loves ya, and he'll give ya the understanding ya need right now. Ya should give him a chance."  
  
When she didn't answer him, he stood and left, closing the door behind him. She sat there for a long time, thinking about what Logan had said. The ball was in her court. Now what to do with it?  
  
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Her knock was so soft she was afraid he might not hear it. But only seconds later it swung open, and there he was.  
  
"Hey, chere. What's de matter?"  
  
"Remy, c'n Ah come in?" Her stomache knotted up. There was no going back now.  
  
"Oui. Is somethin' wrong?" He stepped back to let her in, then shut the door when she passed through. She stood with her back to him, wringing her hands.  
  
"Rogue? What is it?" She turned and looked at him. His face was a mask of concern. This was it.  
  
"Ah got somethin' ta tell ya. An' ain't none of it good." She bit her lip aprehensively. God she did NOT want to talk about this.  
  
He took her by the arm and sat her down on the bed. He pulled a chair over and sat facing her. Then he reached out and took her gloved hand in his. "What is it, chere?"  
  
She swallowed hard, and met his eyes. "What Ah've got ta say is real important Remy. Please don' say anythin' till Ah'm finish." He nodded.  
  
*Okay girl. Ya c'n do this.* But how to begin?  
  
"Remy, Scott was wrong earlier. Y'all didn' get ta me in time." She took a deep breath, and looked him in the eyes. "Remy.....Sinister......raped me."  
  
His eyes widened with shock, then blazed with fury. He opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped him.  
  
"Let me finish. Please. Ah don' think Ah'll be able ta get the courage again." So he sat there and listened to her. And as she told him, she saw it all inside her mind.  
  
  



	3. Painful Secret

Disclaimer: Same ol' same ol'....Marvel's, not mine.  
  
Author's Note: Oh I can't leave you all hanging, so here's chapter 3.  
  
Summery: Rogue bares her soul to Remy  
  
Would You Still Love Me If You Knew?  
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She'd wakened in a cell. It was small and mostly empty except for the simple cot she'd been laying on. And it was dark too. There was only a small orange light over head, and it didn't do anything but illuminate shadows. She remembered who had captured her; Sinister.   
  
Her clothes were gone and she wore a white over sized T-shirt. On her wrist was what looked like a bracelet, but she couldn't get it off. Damn. No powers, no way out. But the others new she'd been taken. They'd find her. She hoped.  
  
Then the door hissed open, and white light poured in. She shielded her eyes from the blindingly bright light, then the door hissed shut again. Her night vision was shot for a moment, but she could hear the foot steps coming toward her. She blinked, and could just barely see the menacing figure standing over her, could just make out the white of Sinister's teeth as he grinned at her.   
  
He was on her before she had time to think. Holding her wrists in one large fist, he pinned her down on the cot. The other grabbed the throat of her glorified T-shirt and ripped it cleanly away. She fought him, struggling, trying to pull her hands free, screaming "no" over and over.  
  
She managed to kick him hard in the stomach. He retaliated by biting into her breast, drawing blood. She screamed, but it was only the beginning. When he forced himself inside her, the pain was like a knife cutting her in two. She shrieked, she cried, she begged.  
  
When he was done with her, he just got up. She curled into a ball and cried. She couldn't even bring herself to stop when she heard the door hiss open, then shut. For a long time she just lay curled up, crying.  
  
When she could finally bring herself to sit up, she found another T-shirt folded neatly on the end of the cot. The ruined one still lay on the floor. She picked it up and used it to wipe away the blood between her thighs and on her breast, then she put on the fresh one.  
  
Seconds later the door opened and Scott and Remy rushed in. The cavalry had arrived. But too late.  
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She looked at Remy, tears streaming down her face. She willed him to speak. *Say somethin'.*   
  
He pulled her into his arms. "Mon Dieu! Oh Rogue, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He held her for a long time, letting her cry on his shoulder.  
  
After a while, the talked. Really talked. He convinced her to talk to the professor and Hank. They'd be able to help her deal with her ordeal mentally and physically. He promised to do everything he could to help her get through this. He'd be there every step of the way.  
  
"Thank ya fer listenin' Remy. Thank ya fer understandin'."  
  
"I'll always be here for you, chere. I love you."  
  
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Author's Note: Rape is a very serious thing. I didn't write this from experience, nor do I know anyone personally who has been raped. But I do know that it is a very difficult thing to deal with. If anyone reading this has suffered this violation, I urge you to talk to someone about it, there are people who can help. Or if you know someone who's gone through this, offer them your support. Just listening does wonders.  
  



End file.
